Be the change you wish to see in the world.

I have done more thinking, praying, and searching for guidance in the last few weeks than I think I have ever done my entire life! I was having this great conversation with God the other morning when he asked me a question that stopped me dead in my tracks. For you to better understand let me explain this.... I have dated several guys in a few different branches of the military and for years I have thought I would marry a man in the military. The thought of my husband having to be gone for extended periods of time didn't frighten me, after all I have installed a toilet! And having to move on a whim? How exciting! I mean yes it would be very hard to be away from my family, but I could live places I never would have if my husband had a "normal" job.

So the question God asked me was this, Why is it that I would be so hesitant to move if I felt He were calling me to go, but I would jump at the idea if the military said to pick up and move? At first this shocked me! I mean why on earth would God want to rip me out of my comfort zone where I feel safe and in control and ask me to follow Him? A peace came over me as God told me this: "Your prayer has been that you would find a man whose heart was on fire for God and it was blatantly obvious, I have given you that, and in return I am asking for your complete faith and trust in me that I will take care of you where ever I have you go. Though Daniel is not a part of the U.S. Military, he is a part of my army, he's not fighting for freedom, he is fighting for the hearts and souls of nonbelievers." I accepted this frightening challenge and agreed that if that is what it took for me to marry a man on fire for God, it was well worth it. And what is more amazing is that that night Daniel asked me if He felt God calling us to move, would I go? Without hesitating I said yes, if that's what we felt God was calling us to do. It still amazes me that he would have even thought to ask that question, but what amazes me more is that God gave me my answer that same morning. This whole week I have been saying this quote over and over in my mind every time I am frightened about what my future holds, "Security is not found in the absence of danger, but in the presence of God."

Daniel has told me countless time how desperately him and PL want to change the world. They can influence it, but they cannot make people change. I have been wanting to share this passage with them that I read years ago, I wish I knew the author, but my memory fails me. "When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I realized the word would not change and I decided to shorten my sights, somewhat and change only my country, but it too seemed immovable. As I entered my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I sought to change only my family, those closest to me, but alas they would have none of it. And now here I lie on my death bed and realize that if only I’d changed myself first, then by example I may have influenced my family, and with their encouragement and support. I may have bettered my country, and who knows, I may have changed the world." Daniel and Leonce, I want you both to know how much you mean to me. I would not be who I am at this moment if it weren't for your influence over the past few months. You have changed my world.