Monday, December 22, 2008

Cut me some slack....

It has been way too long since I have written anything, I am a bad blogger, I know. It's not that I haven't had a desire to write, I just haven't felt like I have much to say. Life is hectic, way more than it has seemed in a very long time. I'm getting married in less that 4 months and I am completely ecstatic! There is so much to do and not enough time or brain power to complete my page long list of tasks, that were supposed to be completed by the end of December. And on top of that my brain still hasn't fully accepted the fact that it is December, and well, almost January! I feel like curve balls are being thrown at me right and left.

After about a month of sleeping through the night I am now back on one of my tangents where I wake up repeatedly throughout the night and wake in the morning only to feel like I haven't fully fallen asleep. On the nights that I do sleep somewhat soundly, my dreams are occupied by thoughts of my little Gram that I lost to cancer almost 3 months ago. These dreams are quite eery, and the morning I wake up from having them he consumes most of my thoughts through the day.

I am up to my eyeballs in stress. It overpowers me, not only mentally but physically. I've cried alot over the past week and only feel like there is more crying to be done. Daniel and I are moving to Atlanta sometime this summer. At the moment we have no idea where we will work or live when this move comes about, but thankfully, none of that is stressing me out. For the first time in my life I am at complete peace about the fact that I have no idea where life is taking us in the near future. Do I have worries here and there? Of course, but am I okay with not being in control? Surprisingly yes. Within the first week that Daniel and I were dating I told him that if he felt God calling us to move, I would follow, and that is exactly where I will find myself in the coming months. Following my husband to a city that I am a stranger to, and standing beside him as he does the work he feels God is calling him to do.

Once again, I feel like I have run out of words to write, or maybe it's just that my brain is too tired to put it's jumbled thoughts into words. I am in need of a serious vacation, even if I don't get to go anywhere. I would settle for a day just to stay home and take part in some of my sadly neglected art/craft projects.

I will try and upload some of our engagement pictures soon! Along with a few of my quickly growing niece and nephew!!

Love you all! Merry Christmas! And in case I fall back into slacker mode, Happy New Year also!