For about the last year I have suffered from extreme exhaustion, restless sleep night after night, and aches all over my body like when you have the flu. I thought for several months that it was just because I was working long hours chasing 3 kids around. Once I moved back to the Smokies I wasn't working and I wasn't feeling any better. I knew that something wasn't right, I just didn't know what. I heard about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and its symptoms were very similar to what I was feeling. I went to my doctor and she said that it sounded more like Fibromayalgia than CFS. Fibromayalgia is a hereditary disease and a few of my family members on both sides have it, there is no cure, and the cause is still unknown. I have never been big on taking medicine so I wanted to check out some other options. My mom scheduled me a meeting with a holistic doctor to see what vitamins I could possibly take to help. I explained my symptoms and he said it sounded like textbook fibromayalgia and he gave me a list of vitamins to take and foods I should and should not eat. I've been taking my vitamins daily since the middle of July and they are actually helping some. I have good days and bad days when it comes to my aches and pains, but we have yet to figure out why I just can't seem to get a good nights sleep. When I get really tired my eyes have a hard time focusing and I feel cross-eyed. Me and Daniel have dubbed it cross-eyedis.
Today has been one of those bad days. I've been laying on an ice pack most of the day feeling like I have a half dozen knives in my lower back. This has given me plenty of time to think.... Every morning when Daniel and I talk he asks me how I slept, how I feel, and/or if my back hurts, and every morning, I give him an answer that is the same or similar as the morning's before. I slept like a rock but I feel like I've been run over by a truck, my back feels blah, my body is stiff...you get my drift. Well this morning I felt ok when I woke up, but our first conversation went just like the days before. I told him he doesn't have to ask every morning how I feel, it doesn't bother me if he does, but I just feel bad that I always give the same answer. I realized this morning why it is that Daniel asks me those questions every morning, he asks because he believes for a better outcome. He said he prays daily that God will give me a good nights sleep and to make me feel better, to heal me. I have always had a hard time asking God for things for myself, because I feel like he has already given me so much, asking for more is just being selfish. I'd much rather pray for someone else's healing than my own. I have been telling myself that I won't let fibromayalgia rule my life, it may be hard, but I'll work through it. I need to be positive, I need to be like Daniel and expect a better outcome, no matter how long it may take, I need to hope for the best.
Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."