For the past 2 months I have been attending a group at my church called ZAO. It is for anyone between the ages of 18 and 29. ZAO means alive, to live, to have life. And I have got to say I have never met a group of people with such life in them. Everyone who attends comes from a different background and when I am with them I don't feel judged at all. We all have our struggles, but we have overcome them and through that we are able to encourage others with the same or similar problems. I started going to the church it is a part of about 3 months ago. My friend Kristal and her brother Daniel (my now boyfriend :) but that's a whole other story) encouraged me to start coming to church on Sunday morning and ZAO Thursday night. Pastor Leonce is over ZAO and he is an amazing speaker. I have never been so encouraged and challenged to be my best. Either my first or second week there PL challenged us to be nice to our enemy. It was our way of celebrating National Hater Day, I think. I knew who it was that I was supposed to be nice to and anyone who knows me well enough can probably guess who it is. I was willing to accept the challenge but I kind of shrugged off the importance of it by the end of the night and didn't think another thing about. When I returned to ZAO the next week and PL mentioned the challenge I realized that without even trying I had accomplished it. My enemy doesn't even know I was nice to them, in fact they know nothing about the whole challenge. I defended this person against someone I love dearly and there was nothing in it for me. I didn't try to be nice, I wasn't even thinking about the challenge, I was just doing what my heart told me was right, and for that I know it was sincere.
July 24th PL challenged us to get rid of the one thing or one person that was standing between us and God for one week. Now this I was not too thrilled about. I knew instantly who that person was for me. He had been my best friend for 4 years and he recently got engaged and I wasn't too happy about it. I cried most of the night, knew it would not be easy but I told God I would give it a try. I told Daniel who I was having to get rid of and I told him that maybe this guy getting engaged was the best thing that ever happened to me. I either called or text him once that week but he didn't respond and it was then that I accepted that this was what God wanted for me. From then on I didn't care that I had just given up someone I had been holding on to for so long. I was giving up the one person I had let give me my purpose, and in doing that I came to grips with the fact that God was the only one who could do that for me. It is what He thinks about me that matters most.
Accepting all of this was still very hard for me but God made it more obvious that it was in my best interest. Last Thursday PL spoke on Mark 10:17-21 where God told the rich young man that he lacked only "one thing." PL asked us to contemplate what our "one thing" was that is keeping us from fully committing to God. For me it was still this guy. For years I had listened to what he said about me and accepted it as the truth. This was a huge night of healing for me and I am thrilled to say I have finally let him go. I do not wish anything bad upon him but I realize that by being his friend I was harming myself, my spirit, and my relationship with God.
And with alot of contemplation I realized that I never would have been able to pursue a relationship with Daniel if I hadn't let go of this other guy. I have been so much happier over the past few weeks. I haven't had this guy dragging me down and I am secure in the assurance that God's opinion of me never changes, I may disappoint him but his love never fails.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Something old....something new!
My parents recently went to visit my Uncle Bruce and Aunt Marlina in AL and knowing my love of fixing up old furniture my mom jumped at the opportunity to bring me an old dresser Marlina was getting rid of. This cute little number has a textured surface and tons of potential and I couldn't wait to get out my paints and brushes and give it a face lift!Luckily the other weekend was fairly cool and I was able to open my doors and let the air blow through the screens to keep the fumes at bay so I could paint! I pulled out my drop clothe and went to work.
2 paint brushes, 3 colors, and a few hours later and this little baby was done! I am still on the hunt for the perfect pull drawer handles but in the mean time I am quite pleased with myself!
And the results are.......
I absolutely love fixing up used furniture and would love to do it more often. Wouldn't it be nifty if I could turn this hobby into a career? Speaking of career.....I am officially a Financial Service Representative which is a fancy name for "bank teller that doesn't get paid enough to put up with crazy people's shenanigans"! I had 8 days of in-class training and 2 days observing another teller. Now I am the one being observed. I cannot even begin to explain the amount of information that was crammed into my brain in such a short amount of time! Information overload! I have already gotten some dirty looks and a few "Aww, you must be new" smiles. I've even been been tempted to crawl under the desk and hide! Another teller was helping a woman and she began to pitch a hissy fit when she didn't get her way (because what she was asking us to do is illegal) and she began screaming and even threw the telephone at the teller after getting done talking to the manager! I sat back wide eyed trying not to hyperventilate! When I left for lunch that day I called my mom bawling my eyes out and told her I can't handle this! I still don't know if I can handle it! I don't feel like a bank teller, I don't act like a bank teller, and I sure as heck don't look like a bank teller! I am a poser! My inner hippy is seriously rebelling! I've been thinking about it and the only other job I can imagine having right now is to work at Starbucks! I love coffee! Coffee runs through my veins! If it could be administered through an IV I would be hooked up! Currently none of the Starbucks in the area are hiring but if a position opens up I don't think I would hesitate to take it!
Saturday, August 2, 2008
I was tagged by Peaches and posh!
Mary-Catherine at Peaches and Posh has tagged me to list the 5 things I love the most! So here goes....
1. My family. I live within 10 minutes of my parents, brother, sister-in-law, niece and nephew and I love it! Getting to share old memories and make new ones is such an exciting time! And of course the arrival of Hannah and Elijah has been such a blessing! It is so much fun to cuddle up with them and see their personalities blossom!
2. Arts and Crafts. I love anything artistic! Painting, photography, drawing, writing, and most recently, fixing up old furniture! To be able to take something that is old and already has some history to it and give it a face lift and a new life is thrilling!
3. Thanksgiving. It is my favorite of all holidays! There's no stress of gift giving and it seems much more relaxed! We cook for days and when we finally get to enjoy the meal it only takes about 15 minutes to be stuffed beyond belief because there is so much food!
4. Reading. I love curling up with a good book, whether it be a comdey, romance, mystery, or historical.
5. Spending time outdoors. Sitting on my deck overlooking the valley while having my morning coffee. Laying in a hammock. Going for a walk/hike. Taking pictures of nature. Going to the river. Though sometimes it is just a matter of letting the outdoors in- opening the doors and letting the breeze blow in through the screens.
1. My family. I live within 10 minutes of my parents, brother, sister-in-law, niece and nephew and I love it! Getting to share old memories and make new ones is such an exciting time! And of course the arrival of Hannah and Elijah has been such a blessing! It is so much fun to cuddle up with them and see their personalities blossom!
2. Arts and Crafts. I love anything artistic! Painting, photography, drawing, writing, and most recently, fixing up old furniture! To be able to take something that is old and already has some history to it and give it a face lift and a new life is thrilling!
3. Thanksgiving. It is my favorite of all holidays! There's no stress of gift giving and it seems much more relaxed! We cook for days and when we finally get to enjoy the meal it only takes about 15 minutes to be stuffed beyond belief because there is so much food!
4. Reading. I love curling up with a good book, whether it be a comdey, romance, mystery, or historical.
5. Spending time outdoors. Sitting on my deck overlooking the valley while having my morning coffee. Laying in a hammock. Going for a walk/hike. Taking pictures of nature. Going to the river. Though sometimes it is just a matter of letting the outdoors in- opening the doors and letting the breeze blow in through the screens.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
What a Steal!
Before giving an overall update on life I just had to share my latest yardsale experience! I was on my
way to my parents house friday morning and I came across a yard sale so of course I had to stop. I'm looking around and then all of the sudden standing infront of me was the desk of my dreams! (ha, you thought I was going to say man didn't you!) I had been on the hunt for a small writing desk and I finally found it! Only problem was it was way out of my price range. Originally priced at $125 it had been marked down to $95 and the man even told me he would sell it to me for $75. I would be crazy not to take it! I called my mom, Mrs. Negotiator, and asked her what the lowest was I could offer him, she said $50. So I threw my offer out there and after 
much contemplation he agreed and helped me load it into my car (after having realized we were going to have to remove the legs). I'm as happy as a clam the rest of the day and was so excited to take it to my brother's shop to paint it! Gasp! I know! I mentioned painting it to Jonathan and he could not believe his ears! Once we carried it into his shop and started looking around we realized that this was a very nice, very old antique! He thinks it is made of Walnut and as we turned it over to put the legs back on we noticed the hardware had been stamped saying "Pat. Jan 1919"!
Holy crap! This beautiful desk is almost 100 years old! Just as a reminder, Jan 1919 is when World War 1 started..... You can all breathe a sigh of relief now, I quickly decided painting the desk was not an option,
so me and Jonathan loaded it back into my car so I coul
d set it up at my house! It is absolutely perfect! It even has an ink well built into the desk!
way to my parents house friday morning and I came across a yard sale so of course I had to stop. I'm looking around and then all of the sudden standing infront of me was the desk of my dreams! (ha, you thought I was going to say man didn't you!) I had been on the hunt for a small writing desk and I finally found it! Only problem was it was way out of my price range. Originally priced at $125 it had been marked down to $95 and the man even told me he would sell it to me for $75. I would be crazy not to take it! I called my mom, Mrs. Negotiator, and asked her what the lowest was I could offer him, she said $50. So I threw my offer out there and after much contemplation he agreed and helped me load it into my car (after having realized we were going to have to remove the legs). I'm as happy as a clam the rest of the day and was so excited to take it to my brother's shop to paint it! Gasp! I know! I mentioned painting it to Jonathan and he could not believe his ears! Once we carried it into his shop and started looking around we realized that this was a very nice, very old antique! He thinks it is made of Walnut and as we turned it over to put the legs back on we noticed the hardware had been stamped saying "Pat. Jan 1919"! Holy crap! This beautiful desk is almost 100 years old! Just as a reminder, Jan 1919 is when World War 1 started..... You can all breathe a sigh of relief now, I quickly decided painting the desk was not an option,so me and Jonathan loaded it back into my car so I coul
d set it up at my house! It is absolutely perfect! It even has an ink well built into the desk!In other news, I got to experience my first outing with 7 week old twins, and it was just that, quite an expeience. I went with Jonathan, Betsy, Hannah, and Eli into town to run some errands and eat dinner. Eli got to go on his first, but certainly not last, Lowe's trip with his daddy. He seemed quite content surrounded by building supplies and tools. What can I say, like father like son.
And dad fullfilled his promise that he would have me roofing before I knew it. He pulled his back out so I helped Jonathan finish putting a roof over mom and dad's deck. In the beginning dad and Jonathan were trying to teach me how to walk on the beams and I quite shaky. It's not really heights that I am afraid of, it's falling that makes me uneasy! But after a long, hot, back aching day, I survived yet another construction job!
This was the view in our valley one night a week or so ago. Breathtaking. You could see the beginning and end of the rainbow, sadly I could not back up far enough to catch it all on screen! Hope you enjoy!
And dad fullfilled his promise that he would have me roofing before I knew it. He pulled his back out so I helped Jonathan finish putting a roof over mom and dad's deck. In the beginning dad and Jonathan were trying to teach me how to walk on the beams and I quite shaky. It's not really heights that I am afraid of, it's falling that makes me uneasy! But after a long, hot, back aching day, I survived yet another construction job!
This was the view in our valley one night a week or so ago. Breathtaking. You could see the beginning and end of the rainbow, sadly I could not back up far enough to catch it all on screen! Hope you enjoy!Thursday, June 26, 2008
L.O.V.E.
Look how big they are getting! Hannah and Eli were 5 weeks old yesterday and I am once again amazed at how quickly time passes! I have had so much fun getting to spend time with them and help Jonathan and Betsy take care of them! It is so exciting to see how little bits of their personalities are coming out. Hannah is so dainty and she loves to cuddle to fall asleep. Eli is all boy and he's beginning to make cooing noises that are so cute!
Sunday, June 15, 2008
You can just call me Ms. Goodwrench.
I've got a job! I got hired by a local bank and I will be working in a branch that is located in a grocery store. Technically I will be a bank teller, but the job has a much fancier name because I will also be dealing with loans, opening accounts, and all that jazz. Training doesn't start until the end of July and thats a long time to wait but it gives me plenty of time to shop for my new "bank appropriate wardrobe." I am very excited and very nervous!
In the mean time I have become a construction worker. It's ok, you can laugh. My dad is a contractor, my brother is a subcontractor, and for the past 2 weeks I have been apart of the family business. I'll be working for dad hopefully until my training starts for the bank. I spent the last week polyurathaning, floor to ceiling, a room and bathroom that the guys added onto an exsisting cabin. I've killed brain cells, left scratches on my arms trying to peel polyurathane off myself, and gotten quite a few weird first glances from guys coming on to the job site for odd jobs, but I have to say, I quite like my job :) Jonathan, my brother, was talking about his son Eli the other day and said to my dad "we always knew we'd have another Booth guy working with us one day." To which dad replied, "Yeah, but none of us ever expected it to be Jessica!" To say the least I think the guys get a kick out of me working there. Parts of this job make me nervous, like when dad says 'before you know it we'll have you up there roofing!', and other times when he hands over one of those big industrial floor sanders and says 'take it away!' and it starts steering me in circles and he gives me a thumbs up and says 'it's a good ab workout!' and I'm thinking, my abs are fine just the way they are, i'll stick with the poly. Since being on this job I've learned how to obviously polyurathane and sand a floor, but I have also put a toilet in, installed a faucet onto a sink, and laid a heating coil under a tile floor. My mom says I'll make someone a wonderful husband someday, but I'm thinking at this rate I'll be showing most of the guys up and any one of them would be too embarassed to marry me.
I like working with dad and Jonathan because we are similar in that we like to work with our hands. Starting with a pile of stuff and being able to complete and have a finished project is thrilling! In my house I am lacking in cabinet and counter space so me and my dad sat down and drew up some plans to build me a cabinet for my "coffee corner". Me and my dad set aside a few days and several scrap pieces of wood and finally completed this little cabinet for my house! Everything is finished except for the glass panels that I need to buy to put in the doors....take a looksie!
Friday, June 6, 2008
Attack of the Hummingbird and a few new treasures!
This morning I was having coffee on my deck and almost got taken out by 2 hummingbirds playing chase near their feeder only a few feet infront of my face! The blurry object to the left of the feeder is one of the little guys that kept buzzing past my head! It would take a while to figure out what was hovering in the air because the cicadas that have taken over our area rival the hummingbirds in size. With this being the year of the cicada they are everywhere and they make a constant noise that sounds alot like a house alarm going off.
I've picked up
a few new treasures this past week at a local thrift store and I can't wait to go back and see what new items they get in! I found this vintage clothes hamper and am using it to store blankets in in my living room! I also found these really cute rectangular dishes. I'm not quite sure what they are, my mom said they'd be great plates for a taco night!
I was at a
friends house the other day and they had a stray black kitten roaming around so I took it home, named her Ebony, and introduced her to my dog Tink and after a few days they are finally beginning to like each other! She likes to sleep in the bathroom sink and she's always rubbing up against me. She really is quite something else and I really enjoy her company :) and Hopefully she'll help keep any and all critters out of my house!I found these adorable little dessert plates at T.J. Maxx and just couldn't pass them up!
They are made by Boston Warehouse and called Sweet Tooth. There are some cute dessert bowls made by the same company but I've yet to find them :( I'll keep my eyes open though!
Monday, May 26, 2008
An Ache I Can't Explain
It's been 3 weeks since I moved back to the Smokies and I'm settled into my house except for a few areas here and there that still need to be organized. It is so good to be closer to my family and the only part about Nashville I have missed is my church. I haven't gotten to visit any around here yet but I am hoping to do so soon. May 21st my niece and nephew were born and they are amazing and I am so excited to watch them grow and experience the world for the first time. I had a job interview this past week and I should be hearing something back this week. My fingers are crossed that I get this job and will finally be able to settle into somewhat of a routine.
Everything about making a home here feels right, but it feels like something is missing. I am generally a very happy person. I am also a very lonely person. For as long as I can remember I have felt this ache, an ache in my heart, an ache in the pit of my stomache, an ache that I cannot explain. I feel this ache as I lay in bed awake at night just waiting for sleep to take over me, I feel it when I think about love, I feel it when I spend evening after evening alone. I have never been good at relationships, whether between friends or loves. I am one of those people who cares deeply for others close to me. This care has been mistaken by some and pushed aside by many, yet that ache for them to feel the same way remains the same. I don't like to be lonely, I don't want to be lonely, yet even in a room full of people, somehow I still manage to feel lonely.
♥JB
Everything about making a home here feels right, but it feels like something is missing. I am generally a very happy person. I am also a very lonely person. For as long as I can remember I have felt this ache, an ache in my heart, an ache in the pit of my stomache, an ache that I cannot explain. I feel this ache as I lay in bed awake at night just waiting for sleep to take over me, I feel it when I think about love, I feel it when I spend evening after evening alone. I have never been good at relationships, whether between friends or loves. I am one of those people who cares deeply for others close to me. This care has been mistaken by some and pushed aside by many, yet that ache for them to feel the same way remains the same. I don't like to be lonely, I don't want to be lonely, yet even in a room full of people, somehow I still manage to feel lonely.
♥JB
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Speechless
Wednesday, May 21, 2008 my brother, Jonathan and his wife, Betsy welcomed their first two children into the world! On the left is Elijah (Eli) David, weighing 5lbs 3oz and on the right is Hannah Faith weighing 4lbs 8oz!I would love to go into more details but I am still currently SPEECHLESS.
♥JB
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
100 Things
I stole this from Mary's (Peaches and Posh) blog because it looked like fun!
1. I just got back from vacation in Long Beach, CA
2. I moved to the Smoky Mountains the day after I got back from vacation
3. I hate bugs!
4. I live in a cottage!
5. I can't wait to start a big garden!
6. I have a dog
7. I'm hoping to get a kitten once i get settled in
8. I have nannied 6 kids over the past 2 years.
9. I will be an aunt to twins any day now!
10. I'm thrilled I will be living close to them and get to watch them grow up!
11. I adore kids and can't wait to have my own!
12. I have drank coffee since I was 4 and I can't live without it!
13. I am only 5 feet tall
14. I love decorating!
15. I love baking and can't wait to do more in my new kitchen
16. I have 2 tattoos
17. I have 12 piercings
18. I used to have my nose pierced
19. I am in the process of writing a children's book series
20. I am working on illustrating my children's book series
21. I want nothing more than to be a mom
22. I am patiently waiting on my Mr. wonderful, though annoyed that I haven't met him yet
23. Against my will I have become a morning person
24. I am allergic to animals
25. I have never in my life not had a pet
26. I love to rock climb
27. I have been sea kayaking
28. I have sleep issues
29. I go to California once a year but I would like to make it every six months
30. I feel naked without my phone, it's always with me and never turned off
31. I used to play soccer
32. I used to play piano, flute, and clarinet
33. I have a bulging disk in my lower back
34. I get sunburns very easily if I don't wear sunscreen
35. I religiously put on sunscreen
36. I've only gotten my hair cut by a pro once
37. I love airports and flying!
38. I like watching people and how they interact
39. Pedicures are the best but I don't get them often :(
40. I have more guy friends than girl friends
41. My handwritting looks like that of a 4 years old
42. I am OCD
43. I love anything outdoors
44. I don't drink enough water (or any drink) to equal 8 glasses a day
45. I have never been water skiing
46. I generally enjoy having conversations with older adults rather than people my age
47. I cannot roll my tongue
48. I cannot roll my "R"s
49. I took 2 years of spanish and can hardly remember a lick of it
50. I love to write
51. I love to go to thrift stores
52. I recently got an old record player!
53. I am in the process of growing my record collection
54. I love sign language, I am trying to learn more because I would love to become fluent
55. I will teach my kids sign lanuguage
56. I want 3 or 4 kids
57. My dad, my brother, and Taylor are my heros
58. I am afraid of drowning
59. I hate clowns
60. I love to paint
61. I love butterflies!
62. I would love to open up a dessert shop one day
63. Mellow Mushroom is one of my all time favorite places to eat
64. I have had a bird for 14 years
65. I am eccentric
66. I love musicals
67. I have a wide range of favorite music
68. I own way too many movies
69. I love taking pictures
70. I like to have background noise while working on things
71. I get freaked out/scared easily
72. I love watching Will & Grace
73. I love banana bread!
74. I don't like looking out windows at night
75. I love buying old furniture and fixing it up
76. My favorite cake is a seven layer swiss chocolate cake with cream cheese icing!
77. I've only been snow skiing once
78. I have a shoe addiction
79. I am running out of doors to hang my shoe rack things on
80. My favorite word is Serenity
81. Richard Gere is one of my favorite actors! (and he's such a hottie!)
82. I adore Julia Roberts
83. I am a vegetarian
84. I love to read
85. I will probably have arthritis one day from texting too much
86. I have asthma
87. I love to go walking
88. I don't have a favorite color, I love them all!
89. My closet is color-coordinated by the rainbow (ROY G BIV)
90. I LOVE cream cheese icing on my brownies (chewy not dry)!
91. I think pregnant women are beautiful, I can't wait to be pregnant!
92. I write myself alot of little notes to remind myself of things I need to do
93. I love my mom's homemade mac & cheese
94. Eddie Izzard is my favorite comedian
95. I LOVE flowers! Especially Daisys
96. I eat alot of small meals throughout the day
97. I'd rather eat cookie dough than baked cookies
98. My family mean the world to me
99. I love bubbles
100. I have red hair!
1. I just got back from vacation in Long Beach, CA
2. I moved to the Smoky Mountains the day after I got back from vacation
3. I hate bugs!
4. I live in a cottage!
5. I can't wait to start a big garden!
6. I have a dog
7. I'm hoping to get a kitten once i get settled in
8. I have nannied 6 kids over the past 2 years.
9. I will be an aunt to twins any day now!
10. I'm thrilled I will be living close to them and get to watch them grow up!
11. I adore kids and can't wait to have my own!
12. I have drank coffee since I was 4 and I can't live without it!
13. I am only 5 feet tall
14. I love decorating!
15. I love baking and can't wait to do more in my new kitchen
16. I have 2 tattoos
17. I have 12 piercings
18. I used to have my nose pierced
19. I am in the process of writing a children's book series
20. I am working on illustrating my children's book series
21. I want nothing more than to be a mom
22. I am patiently waiting on my Mr. wonderful, though annoyed that I haven't met him yet
23. Against my will I have become a morning person
24. I am allergic to animals
25. I have never in my life not had a pet
26. I love to rock climb
27. I have been sea kayaking
28. I have sleep issues
29. I go to California once a year but I would like to make it every six months
30. I feel naked without my phone, it's always with me and never turned off
31. I used to play soccer
32. I used to play piano, flute, and clarinet
33. I have a bulging disk in my lower back
34. I get sunburns very easily if I don't wear sunscreen
35. I religiously put on sunscreen
36. I've only gotten my hair cut by a pro once
37. I love airports and flying!
38. I like watching people and how they interact
39. Pedicures are the best but I don't get them often :(
40. I have more guy friends than girl friends
41. My handwritting looks like that of a 4 years old
42. I am OCD
43. I love anything outdoors
44. I don't drink enough water (or any drink) to equal 8 glasses a day
45. I have never been water skiing
46. I generally enjoy having conversations with older adults rather than people my age
47. I cannot roll my tongue
48. I cannot roll my "R"s
49. I took 2 years of spanish and can hardly remember a lick of it
50. I love to write
51. I love to go to thrift stores
52. I recently got an old record player!
53. I am in the process of growing my record collection
54. I love sign language, I am trying to learn more because I would love to become fluent
55. I will teach my kids sign lanuguage
56. I want 3 or 4 kids
57. My dad, my brother, and Taylor are my heros
58. I am afraid of drowning
59. I hate clowns
60. I love to paint
61. I love butterflies!
62. I would love to open up a dessert shop one day
63. Mellow Mushroom is one of my all time favorite places to eat
64. I have had a bird for 14 years
65. I am eccentric
66. I love musicals
67. I have a wide range of favorite music
68. I own way too many movies
69. I love taking pictures
70. I like to have background noise while working on things
71. I get freaked out/scared easily
72. I love watching Will & Grace
73. I love banana bread!
74. I don't like looking out windows at night
75. I love buying old furniture and fixing it up
76. My favorite cake is a seven layer swiss chocolate cake with cream cheese icing!
77. I've only been snow skiing once
78. I have a shoe addiction
79. I am running out of doors to hang my shoe rack things on
80. My favorite word is Serenity
81. Richard Gere is one of my favorite actors! (and he's such a hottie!)
82. I adore Julia Roberts
83. I am a vegetarian
84. I love to read
85. I will probably have arthritis one day from texting too much
86. I have asthma
87. I love to go walking
88. I don't have a favorite color, I love them all!
89. My closet is color-coordinated by the rainbow (ROY G BIV)
90. I LOVE cream cheese icing on my brownies (chewy not dry)!
91. I think pregnant women are beautiful, I can't wait to be pregnant!
92. I write myself alot of little notes to remind myself of things I need to do
93. I love my mom's homemade mac & cheese
94. Eddie Izzard is my favorite comedian
95. I LOVE flowers! Especially Daisys
96. I eat alot of small meals throughout the day
97. I'd rather eat cookie dough than baked cookies
98. My family mean the world to me
99. I love bubbles
100. I have red hair!
Monday, April 21, 2008
A Transitional Home
I moved to Nashville almost 2 years ago, July 1, 2006. A few months after I moved here I had lunch with a friend I had met at church and during lunch she told me how she feels that for many people Nashville is a transitional home. She said people are constantly coming and going but few people stay here for more than just a few years. At the time I didn't think of Nashville as a transitional home, I came with no agenda, time frame, or intention to leave. As I recalled this conversation in my head last night I realized that nashville became just that, a transitional place that I called home. I am now trying to figure out what Nashville is to me and what it has to do with my story. I have attended a great church up here, received more than my fair share of training for motherhood, and I have gotten much needed experience in living on my own and taking care of myself.
The things I have done and the people I have met while living in Nashville make me so thankful for that transition, but other than the fact that i will be much closer to my family, I am now wondering what it is that the Smokies have in store for me. The first time I moved there it was my parents choice, and I was not happy to say the least, but this time it is my choice. This time around I am older, I feel wiser, but more than anything I feel confused. It is very odd for me to be moving back to a city that I have already lived in for 7 years and basically starting from scratch. I still have a few friends (and all of my family) in the area, but other than that I will be on my own. I'm on the lookout for a job, a church, friends, and a husband (hahaha, sorry, had to throw that last one in there for my mom!).
I mentioned to one of my pastor friends at church last night that I was moving and he said 'let me ask you this, what is it that you want to do with your life? Other than be a wife and a mother?' I was instantly taken back when he said this because if you were to ask those closest to me what I want more than anything in the world they would answer 'to be a wife and a mother'. This is where most of my confusion lies. I feel that that is my purpose, but until those two dreams come true, I don't know what I am supposed to do with my life. I'm searching. Searching for security, purpose, a place where I will feel and be needed. I am searching most of all for what I lose most often, my joy.
The things I have done and the people I have met while living in Nashville make me so thankful for that transition, but other than the fact that i will be much closer to my family, I am now wondering what it is that the Smokies have in store for me. The first time I moved there it was my parents choice, and I was not happy to say the least, but this time it is my choice. This time around I am older, I feel wiser, but more than anything I feel confused. It is very odd for me to be moving back to a city that I have already lived in for 7 years and basically starting from scratch. I still have a few friends (and all of my family) in the area, but other than that I will be on my own. I'm on the lookout for a job, a church, friends, and a husband (hahaha, sorry, had to throw that last one in there for my mom!).
I mentioned to one of my pastor friends at church last night that I was moving and he said 'let me ask you this, what is it that you want to do with your life? Other than be a wife and a mother?' I was instantly taken back when he said this because if you were to ask those closest to me what I want more than anything in the world they would answer 'to be a wife and a mother'. This is where most of my confusion lies. I feel that that is my purpose, but until those two dreams come true, I don't know what I am supposed to do with my life. I'm searching. Searching for security, purpose, a place where I will feel and be needed. I am searching most of all for what I lose most often, my joy.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Art, or something like it
As I drove from Nashville to the Smoky Mountains today I thought alot about my love of art. Last weekend I painted a very large tree on the wall of my (soon to be) niece and nephews bedroom. It takes alot to get my creative juices flowing and even more energy to actually begin and complete a project. I often think of things I want to paint or make, but hardly ever do with the feeling that I will not have time or energy to complete it, and I hate leaving something half done. As i prepare to move into my new little cottage I can't help but be excited about the thought of stand on my deck, behind an easel, wearing clothes covered in crusty old paint from previous projects, and painting the mountain that is so perfectly framed by the trees infront of me.
During the short time I attended UT almost all of my classes were art classes. I enjoyed the process of starting from scratch and creating something totally original, however I did not like the grading process. Art is all about ones interpretation of the object infront of them. I find it hard to put a lable or grade with something that may look different to each person that passes it. For instance, two painters may be asked to paint a replica of the same picture. One painting may turn out to look idential to the picture it reflects, while the other may look completely different. This however does not mean that the painter who painted the different looking picture is any less talented than the first. Through the eyes of the second painter, they may have painted exactly what they saw. Interpretating art also makes me think of when a child colors a picture and asks you if you like it. You relpy yes and ask what it is and the child will probably look up at you bewildered and say well don't you know? Or can't you see it? It may look like a yellow squiggly in a blue circle to you, but to them it its duck swimming in a pond on a spring day.
During the short time I attended UT almost all of my classes were art classes. I enjoyed the process of starting from scratch and creating something totally original, however I did not like the grading process. Art is all about ones interpretation of the object infront of them. I find it hard to put a lable or grade with something that may look different to each person that passes it. For instance, two painters may be asked to paint a replica of the same picture. One painting may turn out to look idential to the picture it reflects, while the other may look completely different. This however does not mean that the painter who painted the different looking picture is any less talented than the first. Through the eyes of the second painter, they may have painted exactly what they saw. Interpretating art also makes me think of when a child colors a picture and asks you if you like it. You relpy yes and ask what it is and the child will probably look up at you bewildered and say well don't you know? Or can't you see it? It may look like a yellow squiggly in a blue circle to you, but to them it its duck swimming in a pond on a spring day.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
My New (Soon to be) Home Sweet Home!
With a great deal of thought and an abundant amount of stress I have decided to move back to the Smoky Mountains to be closer to my family! With a little negotiating I was able to break my lease and with the help of my parents I have a place to live when I move back east on May 10th! The picture above is of the little cottage I will be renting! It's the perfect size for me and my dog and has an amazing view of the valley below and the mountain across from me! When the decision to move was finalized this past weekend I only had 3 1/2 weeks to pack and one of those weeks I will be vacationing in California, so needless to say I feel like I have way too much to do and not enough time to do it! When I get my my set on something like moving I make myself frantically busy to make the time pass faster. I have almost everything already packed, if only I could move this weekend.... :( Once I get all my stuff moved in and decorated I'll post pictures!♥JB
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Upside down, inside out, and backwards....
That is the phrase I would use to describe the direction I feel my life is in right now. My sense of gravity is lost and I’m not sure of I’m headed up or down or if I’m even moving at all. I am feeling an urge to move, which I can’t do for another year because of my lease, but I am not sure if I am supposed to or not. I have wanted for many years now to live in California and I have been considering this a lot lately. I know that when I am married and have children I can’t pick up and move whenever I want to, so now, me being single and childless, seems like a good time. But there’s this teeny tiny other dilemma, I am about to become an aunt to twins, a boy and girl I cannot wait for the arrival of these TWO bundles of joy and this makes me want to move back east to be closer to my family. I love my family more than anything in the world and being close to them makes me feel whole.
I am also dealing with the fact that I am not sure if I am supposed to nanny anymore. I am beginning to feel overwhelmingly exhausted, mentally and physically, and I desperately long to work with people of a mature age. I want to feel like I have energy left for my own kids, I don’t want them to come around and me think “been there done that, seen it all before.” I want to look at my first baby in awe, the way the youngest I nanny makes me every now and then, and be amazed at how quickly they grown, and learn, and catch onto things.
If I don’t continue to nanny I have no clue what I will do for a living and this frightens me. I am trying to compile a list of jobs and skills I have to help narrow my search for my next job, and I am feeling incredibly uneasy at the thought of having to do anything that cramps me in a small room behind a desk.. I love working with people, though they do tend to try my patience, but then again, even I test the limits my patience.
I am also dealing with the fact that I am not sure if I am supposed to nanny anymore. I am beginning to feel overwhelmingly exhausted, mentally and physically, and I desperately long to work with people of a mature age. I want to feel like I have energy left for my own kids, I don’t want them to come around and me think “been there done that, seen it all before.” I want to look at my first baby in awe, the way the youngest I nanny makes me every now and then, and be amazed at how quickly they grown, and learn, and catch onto things.
If I don’t continue to nanny I have no clue what I will do for a living and this frightens me. I am trying to compile a list of jobs and skills I have to help narrow my search for my next job, and I am feeling incredibly uneasy at the thought of having to do anything that cramps me in a small room behind a desk.. I love working with people, though they do tend to try my patience, but then again, even I test the limits my patience.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Kick off your rainboots, leave your umbrella behind, and take a stroll down Main Street with me.
The weather this week has been ludicrous. Wednesday, instead of my 45 minute commute to work, it took me an hour and a half thanks to the snow and roads that had frozen into solid sheets of ice. I tuckered down and with a few "my life just flashed before my eyes" near accidents I made it to work and enjoyed a pretend "Day at the beach" with the kids! We filled our sand buckets with seashells and proceeded to paint them, and then enjoyed watching The Little Mermaid to continue our "I’m so sick of snow" Day.
Earlier in the week I had passed some potentially fabulous thrift stores and I was hoping to stop in for a looksy after work on Friday. Fridays are my short day at work, I get off right around lunchtime leaving me to do as I like with my Friday afternoons! This Friday was particularly dreary and drenched in rain, but that did not hinder my mission to discover new and exciting "hot spots" of my liking. I drove to Springfield, a little city, nearby my work. I began driving down Main St. to one of the thrift stores I had passed a few days before as a little worn down sign that said Antiques caught my eye. I grabbed the nearest parallel parking spot and headed towards the direction of the sign, only to realize that the shop used to be an antiques shop but was now something boring like an office. I was still quite a ways up the street from the thrift store I was headed to but decided instead of getting back in the car and driving 2 blocks to find another parking spot I would walk and check out this quaint little town. As the rain fell my sandals began to stain my feet and my ripped jeans, that are several inches too long, began to soak up water past my ankles. Luckily I had a rain jacket on, but no hood, so I had to attempt to shield my glasses from the rain so I could still see where I was going. As dreadful as most of this may sound it was actually one of the most enjoyable walks I have taken in a long time! I passed a beauty parlor filled with chatty, elder women with their hair in curlers and their heads under dryers. It looked like a scene from a movie, but it was real. Those women have probably been sitting under those same dryers, gossiping about the same people for 50 years! And I love it! Down one of the side streets I passed the barber shop! Full of men, reading their newspapers, waiting on the one barber in the shop, a man who looked as if he had been there since a time when Main Street was the happening place to be! I passed the old courthouse, which is probably still the only used courthouse there to this day, one church, a diner, a bakery, a tea house, and movie theater. I wanted so badly to walk through this movie theater, because it too looked like it should have been something out of a movie. There was one movie poster outside, advertising the movie Spiderwick, and a sign on the door said adult tickets: $4!!! Oh how I wish we could go back to a time where eating ice cream on the sidewalk and riding bikes down Main Street was the ultimate entertainment on summer nights! I hope to live in a small town with a very main Main Street where I know my neighbors and I bike with my children down the sidewalk for a burger, fries, and a shake.
Saturday was amazing! The weather forecast predicted temperatures in the 50s! Me and my roommate/best friend, Christina, headed out around 10:00am, stopping by Starbucks for my morning fix and then onto the Doughnut Den (which just so happens to look like a place that should be on a Main Street somewhere filled with locals) for a dozen doughnut holes each! What a fabulous day Saturday was turning out to be! We came across this amazing little store that is a fair trade store. No child labor was used to make any of the items, and many were made from women themselves. There was an unbelievable number of countries that were represented in this store, each price tag telling you exactly where your item came from. Part of the deal with this fair trade store is that the people who made the merchandise are paid half of their salary up front and then the other half as soon as they are finished. They aren’t paid depending on if the item they makes sells or not, which is amazing. The sell of that item then becomes the responsibility of the store and they will be the only ones out of money if the items are not purchased. The store only has 2 paid employees and everyone else works on a volunteer status. We spent the day rummaging through thrift stores and consignment shops and we even came across an estate sale or two! Saturday turned out to be a spectacular day!
♥JB
Earlier in the week I had passed some potentially fabulous thrift stores and I was hoping to stop in for a looksy after work on Friday. Fridays are my short day at work, I get off right around lunchtime leaving me to do as I like with my Friday afternoons! This Friday was particularly dreary and drenched in rain, but that did not hinder my mission to discover new and exciting "hot spots" of my liking. I drove to Springfield, a little city, nearby my work. I began driving down Main St. to one of the thrift stores I had passed a few days before as a little worn down sign that said Antiques caught my eye. I grabbed the nearest parallel parking spot and headed towards the direction of the sign, only to realize that the shop used to be an antiques shop but was now something boring like an office. I was still quite a ways up the street from the thrift store I was headed to but decided instead of getting back in the car and driving 2 blocks to find another parking spot I would walk and check out this quaint little town. As the rain fell my sandals began to stain my feet and my ripped jeans, that are several inches too long, began to soak up water past my ankles. Luckily I had a rain jacket on, but no hood, so I had to attempt to shield my glasses from the rain so I could still see where I was going. As dreadful as most of this may sound it was actually one of the most enjoyable walks I have taken in a long time! I passed a beauty parlor filled with chatty, elder women with their hair in curlers and their heads under dryers. It looked like a scene from a movie, but it was real. Those women have probably been sitting under those same dryers, gossiping about the same people for 50 years! And I love it! Down one of the side streets I passed the barber shop! Full of men, reading their newspapers, waiting on the one barber in the shop, a man who looked as if he had been there since a time when Main Street was the happening place to be! I passed the old courthouse, which is probably still the only used courthouse there to this day, one church, a diner, a bakery, a tea house, and movie theater. I wanted so badly to walk through this movie theater, because it too looked like it should have been something out of a movie. There was one movie poster outside, advertising the movie Spiderwick, and a sign on the door said adult tickets: $4!!! Oh how I wish we could go back to a time where eating ice cream on the sidewalk and riding bikes down Main Street was the ultimate entertainment on summer nights! I hope to live in a small town with a very main Main Street where I know my neighbors and I bike with my children down the sidewalk for a burger, fries, and a shake.
Saturday was amazing! The weather forecast predicted temperatures in the 50s! Me and my roommate/best friend, Christina, headed out around 10:00am, stopping by Starbucks for my morning fix and then onto the Doughnut Den (which just so happens to look like a place that should be on a Main Street somewhere filled with locals) for a dozen doughnut holes each! What a fabulous day Saturday was turning out to be! We came across this amazing little store that is a fair trade store. No child labor was used to make any of the items, and many were made from women themselves. There was an unbelievable number of countries that were represented in this store, each price tag telling you exactly where your item came from. Part of the deal with this fair trade store is that the people who made the merchandise are paid half of their salary up front and then the other half as soon as they are finished. They aren’t paid depending on if the item they makes sells or not, which is amazing. The sell of that item then becomes the responsibility of the store and they will be the only ones out of money if the items are not purchased. The store only has 2 paid employees and everyone else works on a volunteer status. We spent the day rummaging through thrift stores and consignment shops and we even came across an estate sale or two! Saturday turned out to be a spectacular day!
♥JB
Saturday, February 23, 2008
What a difference a little paint can make!
I have 14 more months left living in my current apartment and I have already been in it 10 months and rearranged a handful of times. But this time, not only did I move furniture, I painted! Oh what a difference a little paint will make! When you walk in my room you see....
Before:
After: 
I am trying to draw out a design for 2 bookcases I would like to build with my dad for each side of my window. I am also working on drawing up a plan for a small writing desk that i would like on the wall in my room between the door out of my bedroom and the door into my bathroom. It's about 5 feet wide and I really need somewhere to place my laptop so I'm not always laying in bed with it. The chair that I will use for my desk is this little vinatge number that I repainted and reupholstered a few months back!
What color would you paint a desk, to go along with this chair, that will go up against a white wall?
♥JB
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Girls Best Friend
As we've all heard time and time again Diamonds are a girls best friend and Dogs are mans best friends. Well as is it so happens I have no one currently buying me diamonds, therefore, my dog is my best friend!
My favorite cartoon movie of all time is Peter Pan and my favorite cartoon character is Tinkerbell, hence the reason I named my dog Tinkerbell, Tink for short. She is a Black Labrador Retriever/Rat Terrier mix. (my uncle has a dog of the same breed mix which he has dubbed Labratory Rat.) I found her on petfinder.com and adopted her from a rescue center (she had been abused) when she was just a puppy. She was supposed to be my guard dog when i moved to Nashville, that was when I thought she was a full blooded lab. Even full grown, right now she looks like a 5 months old black lab so everyone thinks shes still a puppy. She is absolutely the best dog I have ever had besides the fact that she is a complete and total chicken! Not much a of a guard dog she turned out to be! Tink has to be one of the happiest dogs I've ever seen! See is so excited when i come home from work that when she wags her tail her whole body wiggles! And she gets these random bursts of engery where she'll run circles around the apartment and it cracks myself and my roommate up! And ontop of all that she is the best cuddler! (as you can probably tell from the picture) She likes to put her head right up against you when you're laying down and she digs and pushes until she flops over and lays down. So, here's to the one I can always count on to cuddle with on cold nights, always be happy to see me, and love me no matter how long she has to "hold it" while I am at work.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
When all else fails, run to the nearest trash can.
Oh what a day it has been. A stomach bug has been skipping around between me and the three kids I nanny. Last Wednesday the baby (Jack) got sick, Thursday the oldest (Sarah), and Friday the middle child (Harrison) and I. It only lasted one day for each of us except for poor Harrison. He was sick for 48 hours or so and then fine on Monday but when i went to wake him up this morning he told me he was sick. Coming from a 3 year old it's hard to figure out what they mean by sick. I asked him if he threw up and he said yes. He answers yes or no to everything, whether it's the right answer or not and even if he has no clue what I am talking about in the first place. I search his bed for any signs of "sick" and didn't see anything so I carried him downstairs to the kitchen for breakfast. We walk into the kitchen he starts coughing and gagging and I rush to the trash can holding him over it for the next 5 minutes as I'm sure your imagination can muster up what exactly he was doing...... I called his dad who called his mom who then called me to find out what was going on. (The dad has said to not call her with issues like this because she cant do anything about them so she stays at work feeling bad but then she says it's ok to call i don't mind.... I'm thinking ok you two need to agree on something because I'm stuck in the middle not knowing what to do!) Not only that the baby is still somewhat sick from this "bug" and lets just say I cleaned up messes today that would make a grown man cry! Tuesdays are my long days but the mom ended up getting doctors appointments scheduled for the kiddos so I got to come home earlier than my normal days which was great!
I have taken a picture of the chair in my room that I fixed up, but for some reason it will not upload to my computer. Not sure what the problem is, but hopefully I will fix it soon!
♥JB
I have taken a picture of the chair in my room that I fixed up, but for some reason it will not upload to my computer. Not sure what the problem is, but hopefully I will fix it soon!
♥JB
Monday, February 18, 2008
Home Sweet Home....at least for the next 14 months
I have come to learn that my rent will not skyrocket quite as high as I thought and I can still afford to live here in my apartment! I love this apartment! 1,101 square feet of pure bliss! It has a great open floor plan! Seperate laundry room and dining room and 2 full bathrooms with garden tubs and walk in closets and a guest bathroom! And big windows! The only problem I have with it is, it's white, I'm talking I-live-in-a-Marshmallow kind of white! And I am painting this weekend!...at least one wall in mybedroom. I'm thinking of going with a unique olive-ish green as a backdrop for my bed! I have blue and brown in my room accented with green. My inspiration came from a little vanity chair I reupholstered and painted a few months ago and then I thought I'd tame the bright colors with a chocolate brown! When i get the chance I'll post a picture of the chair and see what you think! I'm also hoping to build a big bookcase to go on one side of my "almost floor to almost ceiling" window and eventually build another one for the other side. What what to do as a window treatment I have no clue. Any advice?
♥JB
♥JB
Saturday, February 16, 2008
There's something about the sunrise...
I wake up every weekday at 6:15am for work, so every chance I get to sleep in I thoughroughly enjoy! But waking up at 6:15am does pose a small problem. It is still dark when i wake up, I watch the sunrise every morning on my way to work, which I love! But, I have a hard time sleeping in when I have the chance because I wake up around the time of the sunrise when light fills my room. I've tried placing an assortment of pillows and blankets over my head, but nothing works! On the weekends I usually wake up for the first time between 6:00 and 6:15 and then when the sun rises, so for those of you who have children and wake up early every morning, I sympathize with you!
I'm apartment hunting today! Wish me luck!
♥JB
I'm apartment hunting today! Wish me luck!
♥JB
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